Heaven's Door
by Kei-chan1
Summary: [WHOA! Chapter seven!!!] Ayuru is the singer of the blues band in New Orleans, Chuin is the new kid in town. But with a secret like Ayuru's, how are they ever to fall in love? Shounen ai Nakago/Tomo
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer:  I don't own Fushigi Yuugi.  I can, however, claim the rights to Claudine, Bryon, Jean (as in the french name) and Marc... if you REALLY want to use them, go ahead... but they aren't all that interesting.  And the song "Lost in an Illusion" is mine... wrote it myself!

Author's Note:  I don't know if this has been done before, but I'm doing it.  An Ayuru/Chuin romancey type thing.  So.. in other words.. . SHOUNEN AI SHOUNEN AI SHOUNEN AI!!!!!!!!!  is clear? Any reviews that I get telling me that gay is wrong will be ignored and deleted... or will get a hefty response ^_~

P.S.  Bryon is NOT the reincarnation of Tasuki.. he just happens to love to swear.

**Heaven's Door**

by:  Kokkei

Chapter One:  A meeting

----

The young man wandered aimlessly on an unknown street.  He was lost... lost in the city where he lived.  Granted, he had just moved to New Orleans the day before, but to him, it was no excuse for getting lost.  He was just turning the corner onto some street Barracks – he seemed to recall seeing it somewhere near his apartment building – when he was thrown backwards onto the ground.

"Sorry.  Are you all right?"

Chuin Ryo stared, almost confused, at the hand that was extended for him.  After a minute, he grasped it and pulled himself to his feet.  Then, he looked up...

And was lost in bright pools of sapphire blue.  The face that those eyes belonged to was just as intoxicating – long, straight nose, thin perfect lips, and long, slightly wavy hair the color of spun golden silk.  He was taller than Chuin was... and more muscular.  He was dressed much like a normal 20-something, wearing simple black pants with a red dragon curling up one pant leg, and a tight, black shirt covered by an un-buttoned button-down shirt the same color as the dragon.  Chuin stared a few more seconds until the stranger spoke again.

"Hey, are you okay?"  The stranger, who would say his name was Ayuru, was looking at him with slight concern in his eyes.

"Um, yeah... I-I'm fine," Chuin said, shaking his head.  "I'm sorry.  I got lost trying to get back to my apartment.  I just moved to New Orleans, and the city streets are confusing."

Ayuru gave him a sympathetic nod.  He heard from countless people how confusing the streets of New Orleans were.  "Where are you going?  Maybe I can get you there."

"I moved here yesterday to an apartment on Chartres."

Ayuru remembered seeing a moving van sitting across the street from his own apartment for the better part of the day.  "Ah, so you're my new neighbor."

Chuin's eyes lit up.  "You live near me?"

"Right across the street," Ayuru explained.  "I would love to stay and chat, but fact is, I'm late for practice, so I best get moving."  He was a singer in a New Orleans' blues band.  He and his band, Beaded Dragon, practiced every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and every other Saturday in a loft on Dauphine Street.  They had a regular spot in a blues club down Decatur, and played there two, sometimes three times a week.

Chuin nodded, but extended a hand.  "I'm Chuin."

"Pleasure, I'm Ayuru," he said, shaking it.  "I'll probably see you around."  He walked passed Chuin, but the other man stopped him with his voice.

"Wait a sec... how do I get back to my apartment?"

Ayuru turned.  "Go down this road a block.  You'll see the street signs for Chartres.  Take a right and you'll find your building."

"Thanks."

As Chuin watched the blond haired man walk away, he couldn't help think, *My God, is he beautiful.*  

-----

"Christ, Ayuru, it's about damned time you showed up.  We were just about to go on our lunch break."

Ayuru shot a wry smile at Jean, the bass player.  "Lunch?  Who needs it?"

"I fuckin' need it, 'Ru.  I'm fuckin' starving."  The drummer, Bryon, yelled.  He was drumming his sticks on the back of the couch, close to Jean's head.  The two of them got on each other's nerves to no end, but they trusted each other entirely.  Jean didn't even flinch when Bryon's drum stick came within half an inch of his head.

"Okay, all right.  I apologize.  I overslept again."  Ayuru flopped onto the empty lounge chair.  Then, he sat up.  "You know what?  You guys go ahead and get lunch.  I have an idea for a song."

Jean looked at Bryon, who just shrugged.  "Let's fuckin' go, man."

After Jean and Bryon and the second guitar player, Marc, left for lunch, Ayuru sat down on the big and comfy yet ugly yellow couch with a pen and his song book.  He thought for only a moment, then began to write furiously on the paper, scratching out a misused word here and there.  As the song filtered from his mind to the pen, one person was the driving force behind it.

Hair of silver fell in a straight, smooth sheaf to the middle of his back.  Amber spheres were his eyes, eyes that were calm, making it impossible to determine what he was thinking.  He had a slender face, one that matched his lithe body.  Today, when Ayuru had seen him, he had worn black leather pants with silver studs down the side seams and a tight, silver shirt through which Ayuru was sure he could see his ribcage.

Chuin was absolutely breathtaking.

Fifteen minutes later, Ayuru was finished.   He picked up his guitar, propped it on his lap, and began to play and sing the song he had just written.

_The sun is shining,_

_But my world's all grey._

_The light is gone,_

_Left me in eternal night.___

_But something happened that I didn't expect._

_And now I can't get you off my mind_

_In the flames of my dream's fire,_

_I see you, my true desire_

_And when fantasy becomes reality_

_I'm lost... _

_Lost in an illusion with you_

_I go through the motions,_

_Though my head is screaming.___

_It's so hard, but I'll have you yet_

_To mend the empty hole in my heart,_

_And end my loneliness._

_In the flames of my dream's fire,_

_I see you, my true desire_

_And when fantasy becomes reality_

_I'm lost... _

_Lost in an illusion with you, yeah_

_I'm lost in an illusion with you_

_My guitar is bleeding, _

_But not as much as my heart_

_What can I do, to get to you? _

_So lost..._

_In the flames of my dream's fire,_

_ I see you, my true desire_

_And when fantasy becomes reality_

_I'm lost_

_Oh when fantasy becomes reality,_

_I'm lost in an illusion with you_

_Lost in an illusion... with you.___

When the song was over, Ayuru's hands were trembling.  He took a deep breath, leaned back into the deep cushions of the couch and closed his eyes.  How could a stranger, who he had just met on the street inspire such a song? It wasn't very bluesy, but he didn't think the guys would have a problem with it.  Bryon might bitch about doing a love song, but in the end, he'd go with whatever Jean said.

Just then, the door flung open and Bryon burst into the room, balancing a carrier of drinks in one hand, and an entire pie in the other.  Jean came in behind him carrying three bags of Chinese takeout.

"We brought ya food 'Ru!" Bryon called out enthusiastically.

Ayuru sat up, regarded the young man with a small smile.  Bryon was what most would call "cute."  He had a round, smooth baby face and brown eyes that looked liked they belonged to a lost puppy.  His hair was about shoulder-length, and jet-black, belying his Cajun heritage.  To look at him, you'd never know he was a foul-mouthed, rambunctious drummer in a blues band.

Jean was the oldest of the group at 24.  He kept his brown hair cut short, and always wore dark sunglasses over his green eyes.  He wore them at night, during practice, and everyone joked that he wore them to bed.  Ayuru wouldn't be surprised if he did.

Marc was the quiet one.  Twenty-one years of age – the same as Ayuru and Bryon – he rarely said two words to any of them.  His hair was in an afro-like state, red and curly, and he had freckles adorning his face and arms.  He left the others to make the decisions, and went along with whatever the band said.  Even though he was quite and shy, Marc was great at making music fit together.  Ayuru wrote most of the songs, but he always had Marc help him with the arranging.

"Thanks," Ayuru slid over to the end of the couch to make for the others.  Jean handed him a container of noodles and one of rice, while Bryon set a fountain drink of Coke in front of him.

"Did you get your song written?" Jean asked.

Ayuru nodded.  "Yeah, it's done."

Jean lifted an eyebrow.  "Done?  Completely?  How the hell did you do that?"

The blonde shrugged.  "It just came to me all at once.  Do you guys want to hear it?"

"Fuck yeah!" Bryon piped up.

Ayuru picked up his guitar, but before he began, he looked at the band.  "I'm warning you, it's not like what we usually do.  It's a little, slow."

"Eh?  What --?"  Bryon started, but Ayuru began strumming the opening cords to his song, so he shut his mouth.

A few minutes later, when Ayuru had finished, the three other members of Beaded Dragon were speechless.  Either that, or they were about to throw him out of the band.

Jean cleared his throat.  "Ayuru, that – "

" – was amazing," Bryon finished.  "Fuckin' amazing."

Jean glared at his best friend, then continued.  "I think it's the best thing you've ever written, and we need to perform it tomorrow night at the club."

"T-t-tomorrow?"

Everyone turned as the small voice of Marc filled the room.  "Do you really think we're ready for that?"

Ayuru smiled.  "That's what we have you for, Marc."

The young man gulped visibly.

-----

_Knock knock knock_

*Go away.*

_Knock knock knock_

*I swear... if you don't go away, I'll -*

_Knockknockknockknock_

"Christ, I'm coming!"  Ayuru pushed back the covers and crawled out of bed.  "This better be important," he grumbled, as he stumbled through his apartment and to the door.  Glancing at his watch – that said 8:30 – he saw that he had almost three more hours before he had to get up.  "This better be damned good."

He opened the door, wearing only his boxers, and gaped, nearly wide-eyed at the person who stood on the other side.  "Chuin."

"Uh, g'morning, Ayuru," he said uncertainly.  Ayuru watched as his face turned crimson upon seeing only boxers.

"Come in," he said, before turning and walking back into the bedroom to throw some clothes on.  He chose a pair of jeans and a white gauze shirt with blue embroidery on it.  In the bathroom, he ran a brush through his hair quickly, then made his way back into the living/dining/kitchen area and found Chuin sitting comfortably in an easy chair.  He was wearing khakis and button down black shirt with flames licking up the front and back.

"So, what brings you to my apartment at 8:30 in the morning?"

Chuin blushed again.  "Well, I was kinda hoping you could tell me where I might find a job bartending around here."

"You tend bar?"

Chuin nodded.  "For three years.  I had a decent job in PA, but I had to get the hell out of there.  I've always wanted to come to New Orleans, so I figured what the hell."

Ayuru sat thoughtfully for a few moments.  "Le Bon is always looking for bartenders," he blurted out.  *Way to go, Ayuru, just tell him where you play.*

"Le Bon?  Is that where your band plays?"

"H – how did you know I had a band?"

Chuin grinned.  "Well, you said you were on your way to practice yesterday... and I figured it wasn't for the local ballet troupe."

Ayuru chuckled.  "Ah ha.. good point.  Yes, that's where my band plays."  Why was he telling him these things?  *You should know better, dummy.  Don't get too close... you know what happens when you get too close!*

"Cool, I'll stop by there and see if they could use me.  Where's it at?"

"It's on Decatur."

Chuin gave him a blank stare.  "There's a street here called Decatur?"

Ayuru sighed.  "Let me put my shoes on and I'll show you."

As the two walked to the club in a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts.  Ayuru was berating himself for telling Chuin where the band played.  The guys in the band knew his secret, but that was as far as it went.  He couldn't allow himself to get close to someone.  Especially someone as frail-looking as Chuin.

Even if he was terribly beautiful.

Chuin, on the other hand, was in deep thought over Ayuru.  *He's so cool,* he thought.  *But, he's seemed so distant somehow since I met him.*

"We're here," Ayuru said.

The other, who realized he stood half a head shorter than Ayuru, stopped and gazed up at huge building.  "This is the club?"

"Yeah... or, the first floor is.  The second and third are apartments."

A large, french-style building sat close to the road.  It had iron-work on all the windows, the doors, and even on the stones themselves.  Outside, in ornate, script letters were the words "Le Bon."

"You coming in?" Ayuru called from the door.

"Uh-huh," Chuin muttered, following.  There was no way a place as fancy-looking as this was going to give him a job.

The inside, though, was nothing like the outside.  A dark blue floor stretched across the interior of the room.  The bar was an island in a rectangular shape in the center of the room.  It had to be at least fifteen feet long.  At the bar, drying glasses, was a woman probably in her late twenties.

"Bonjour Claudine," Ayuru greeted, waving to her.

She looked up, and a grin broke out on her face.  "Bonjour 'Ru! Ça va?"

"Bien," he answered her.  "This is Chuin.  He's looking for a job tending bar."

Claudine put down the glass she was drying and shook Chuin's hand.  "You have any experience?"

"Yes.  I've been tending bar for three years."  Chuin smiled at Claudine's french accent.  He thought the french had a very awesome language... and accent.

"Ah, tres bien.  You're hired.  Can you start tonight?"

Ayuru left out a quiet groan, while Chuin smiled brightly.  "Sure!" he said.

------

Ayuru stood under the hot running of his shower, his eyes closed, relaxing as much as he could.  Today had been a good day.  *You didn't come out, today,* he thought.  *Planning something?* he added bitterly.

The water ran down his body, swirled around in the bottom of the shower, and continued on down the drain, to be carried to some dark, smelly sewer.  "Much like my life," he muttered.  He shook his emphatically.  "No, Ayuru, don't think like that.  When you think like that, he comes."

He stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist, and went into his bedroom.  Ayuru had a huge walk-in closet, which was great, considering he was a musician.  The band made pretty good money at the club – they got 15 percent of the cover at the door, plus what the owner paid them to play there – so he had, over the course of a few years, put together a wardrobe that was rather impressive.

He stood there a few moments, debating.  *Chuin is going to be there tonight.  Should I look extra good, or just good?*  Finally, deciding that he shouldn't like someone he had just met dictate what he wore to perform, he chose a pair of brown leather pants, that had rawhide criss-crossed up the sides (not showing any leg), and stretchy, super-tight, long-sleeved brown shirt.  The shirt usually came off after the third song, however, due to the sauna-like conditions of the club.  Most of the time, there was standing-room only at their shows.

Ayuru checked his watch, saw it was time to head up to the loft to get ready.  Pulling on his brown boots, he ran a hand through his hair, took a deep breath, and walked down the stairs to the street.

The scent of the french quarter hit him first.  Sweat and alcohol invaded his nose.  Then, a breeze swept up – a cool breeze from the river, bringing with it the fish and the garbage.  The wind and the smells calmed Ayuru, made him realize why he lived in this city in the first place.

He turned up Chartres and had taken only a step when a voice called to him.  "Hey, Ayuru!  I need to ask you something."

Spinning around, a black blur was running toward him.  Chuin stopped a few from him.  "Is this good to work in the club?  Claudine didn't really specify what I should wear."

Ayuru gave him an appraising run-down.  Again, he wore black leather pants, but these had a streak of red down the sides.  His shirt – if you could call it a shirt – was completely see-through, made out of a black mesh material.  It was sleeveless, and clung to his chest, his back, and his abs.  Extending from his neck and flowing down his shoulder to his forearm was a huge, tribal tattoo.  *How hadn't I noticed that before?* Ayuru thought.  Chuin's hair was loose, fluttering about his face in the breeze, and black eyeliner had been ever-so-carefully applied to the top and bottom eyelids.  This young man, who acted so shy, seemed to have a wild streak.  Ayuru liked that.

In a word, Chuin looked hot, but he wasn't about to tell him that.

"That's perfect for the club.  Claudine will love it, I'm sure.  I talked to her earlier this evening, and she seems to have taken a liking to you."  Ayuru stood with his hands crossed lightly across his chest, mainly to stop his heart from beating so fast.

"Claudine?  She likes me?"  Chuin blushed a fierce pink.

"Do you like her?"  *Might as well get it out in the open...*

"Uh, she's not really my type," Chuin admitted, avoiding Ayuru's gaze.

"Why not?  She's rather beautiful."

Chuin looked at him then, a rather intense look glowing in his eyes.  "She's not a man," he said, though it was barely audible.

Ayuru lifted one slim eyebrow.  "Ah.  I see."  He began walking up the road.  "I have to get to the loft and help the guys with the equipment.  Good luck tonight."

"Uh, thanks."  Chuin watched him go, a sad look his eyes.  Then he spun around and began walking down Chartres in the direction of the club.  "You fucked up this time, Chu," he whispered to himself.  "Now he hates you... he's not gay, and you just practically threw yourself at him.  You're really smooth."

His good mood faltered, but was brought instantly alive again when he saw the club.  There was a line of people that ended at the next block.  *Must be a pretty hot club,* he thought.  He walked up to the door, where he was stopped.

"Hey, you on the list?" The doorman, a big burly fellow with too much facial hair and a pot belly, pushed his hand against Chuin's chest.

"I'm not sure.  Claudine just hired me today to be a bartender," he answered truthfully.

"Name?"

"Chuin."

The door man looked over the list he had attached to a clipboard.  "Ah... yep.  You're right here.  Go on in."

A girl who stood at the front of the line gave Chuin a dirty glare as he walked through the door.  He just shrugged and grinned at her.

Once inside, he wound his through throngs of people, clouds of smoke and burst of raucous laughter.  It was only seven o'clock, but the club was already packed.  He got to the bar where Claudine was still setting up.

"Salut, Chu!" she said, smiling.  "Glad you're here, it's going to be a busy night, non?"

Claudine had thick, straight, auburn colored hair that looked almost deep purple.  A triangular face, with green eyes that blazed like traffic lights, certainly made her extremely attractive.  Even if Chuin were straight, he knew he was no where near her league.

"I didn't get a chance to thank you before... so merci boucoup!" he yelled over the noise.

"No problem, cherie.  Just be ready to work your ass off tonight!  There are two sides.  I get one, you get the other.  Since you have experience, you probably won't need my help."

Chuin ducked under the counter and moved to his side of the bar that conveniently faced the stage.  *Oh, great.  Now he gets to glare at me from the stage.*  He considered asking Claudine to switch, decided against it.  *If he can't handle it, it's his problem, not mine.*

------

In the dressing rooms at the back of the club, Beaded Dragon prepared to go on stage.  Ayuru paced restlessly from wall to wall, nervous as hell about singing his brand new song... especially with the inspiration for tending the bar.  Even Bryon was quiet, going over his drum solos in his head.   Jean sat on a stool, his eyes closed, humming the bars to his part.  Marc, as usual, was deadly silent.

The door to the room opened.  "Ready?" asked a middle-aged man, the club's owner.  "Full house tonight."

"You'd expect any different?"

The man grinned.  "Hell no.  Go get 'em guys!"

And as Ayuru walked out on stage to face a thundering audience, his eyes locked with a pair of amber ones halfway across the room.


	2. Secrets...

Disclaimer:  Ooooooooooooooohh, the horror!!  I don't own Fushigi Yuugi!!  ::weeps::  But, Yuu, feel free to leave me the rights in your will ^__~

Author's Notes:  Ahhh, chapter 2... so wonderful!  I want to thank Mouse-chan big time, for beta reading the first chapter and this one for me... you are KICKASS!  I also want to thank eeeeeeeeeeeeveryone else who reviewed.  I appreciate it more than you know ::fanged grin::  I also apologize for the shortness of this chapter compared to the last.

**Chapter 2:  Secrets...**

He couldn't move.  He was frozen, standing behind the bar, while people screamed for him to get their drinks.  He tried to move, willed his legs, even... but he was paralyzed – paralyzed by two electric sapphires in the center of a spotlight.  

Chuin felt something pass between him and Ayuru, but he did not know what.  It seemed almost like a connection of sorts, a familiarity that had been there since they bumped into each other on the street.  Finally, and with much resistance, he tore his eyes from Ayuru's, snapped back to reality, and began serving drinks.

He was doing well, running up and down along the bar, handing out drinks with a talent born of practice, when Ayuru hit the first chord of their opening song.

"Welcome all to the most kickass blues club in New Orleans!"  The drummer yelled.  "We are Beaded Dragon!"

A wave of cheers and applause erupted from the crowd.  Chuin was taken aback at the response from the crowd, most even stopped ordering drinks and were standing, completely into the blues music coming from the stage.

Three songs later, Ayuru stepped up to the mike, his breath coming a bit heavier than usual.  "This next song is brand new," he said.  "In fact, I just wrote it yesterday."

The crowd cheered.  Chuin stood leaning on the bar, watching Ayuru on stage.

"It's called 'Lost in an Illusion,' and was inspired by... well..." Ayuru paused, a secretive smile crept to his lips.  "That's my little secret.  Here it is, I hope you like it."

Ayuru began to play.  A slow, lilting melody filled the club.  It seemed to swirl through the air, around the people by the stage, and settle over Chuin.  As the blonde began to sing, he looked directly into Chuin's eyes, seemed to sing to him, and him alone.

Chuin barely heard the first verse, but when Ayuru started to sing the chorus, the words sliced into him, nearly brought tears to his eyes.

"In the flames of my dream's fire,

I see you, my true desire

And when fantasy becomes reality

I'm lost...

Lost in an illusion with you."

Why did those words seem to mean something to him?  Illusion?  There was something... something... but what?  Chuin furrowed his eyebrows to think about it, but the song instantly commanded his attention.

"I go through the motions,

Though my head is screaming.

It's so hard, but I'll have you yet

To mend the empty hole in my heart,

And end my loneliness."

He stood at the bar, enthralled by the song, the singer, the music, everything.  Ayuru still looked at him, beads of perspiration all over his face glinting in the stage lights... Chuin stared harder.  _Could that be tears?_ he wondered.  _But why would he be crying?  It's a powerful song, and I guess that if it was inspired by something special to him, he could cry._  But it didn't make any sense.  Ayuru didn't seem like the type that cried.

When the song was over, Chuin couldn't breathe.  Was he just imagining it all?  The   Of course he was.  Ayuru hated him, didn't he?  He wouldn't sing a song to him, let alone one about him.  He suddenly felt very stupid.

"Hey, cheri... how'd ya do tonight?"

Claudine had come around the corner, clapped him on the back.

"Uh,"  he shook his head, coming out of his thoughts.  "I did very well tonight.  Got about forty bucks in tips."

The young woman smiled, then handed him a bundle of cash.

Chuin stared at it.  "What's this?" he asked stupidly.

"The bartenders get ten percent of what the waitresses make," Claudine explained, shoving the money into his hand.  "You're working full-time, non?"

_Full time?  As in working at here most of the time... and being able to watch Beaded Dragon perform?_  Chuin was ecstatic, but he simply said, "Yeah!  If you want me to."

---------

Ayuru finished loading the band's equipment into the back of the Jean's van.

"We'll get it 'Ru, go on home, you look exhausted," the dark-haired man said.

He nodded his thanks, walked back inside through the stage door and out to the main room of the club.  He saw Chuin just finish cleaning the bar, wave his goodbye to Claudine, and move toward the door.

_Oh, shit._

Just before he walked outside, Chuin turned, looked back into the club.  He saw Ayuru, blushed bright red, but waited anyway.  When Ayuru caught up with him, he looked at the ground.

"That show was amazing," he said.

Ayuru forced a smile.  "Thank you."

The two walked out together and started up Decatur.

"Is it always packed like that?" Chuin asked.

The other man sighed.  "Yeah, it is.  Occasionally, it gets so packed that fights break out as to who is closer to the stage."

"You guys must be popular."

Ayuru shrugged.  "I guess.  I mean, we're the only regular band that plays there.  The nights we don't, Vic books a few unknown musicians to play."

"Vic is the owner I take it?"  Chuin wrapped his arms around himself.  Despite the warmness of the city, the breeze that came from the river was cool.  He felt goosebumps pop out on his arms.

"Yeah..." Ayuru looked Chuin, saw him shivering.  "You cold?"

"Freezing," he admitted.  "This shirt isn't exactly modest."

The taller man handed him the jacket he was carrying.  "Here, put it on.  I'm not wearing it."

Chuin took the jacket.  "Thanks."

The walked in silence for a bit.  Chuin huddled down into the oversized jacket, felt his arms growing warm.  Ayuru thrust his hands deep into his pockets, strolling rigidly beside him.

"So, uh..." Ayuru began.  "What brought you down here from Pennsylvania?"

Chuin let out a bitter chuckle.  "What didn't?"

"Pardon?"

"Everything was messed up in PA," Chuin told him.  "My parents died in a car crash last year, I couldn't hold down a job, I wasn't sleeping, wasn't eating, wasn't leaving the house."  He took a deep breath, let it out shakily.  Ayuru could see how much it pained him to talk about it, and he opened his mouth to tell him he didn't have to say anything, but Chuin continued, his eyes distant, remembering.  "Shit got fucked up, you could say.  So, I dealt with things my way, the only way I knew how... I started doing drugs, drinking all the time... and then one morning, I woke up in the hospital.  I had too much to drink and got alcohol poisoning, plus I had OD'd on prescription sleeping pills.  That's when I figured out that I had to leave.  So, I grabbed what little possessions I owned, bid that hellhole goodbye, and hopped a train down here."

Ayuru was so engrossed in Chuin's story that he nearly walked past his building, as did Chuin.  They stopped in the middle of the street, Chuin grew quiet.

_What do I say to that?_ Ayuru thought.  But Chuin saved him.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to drop all that on you in a clump.  I just haven't spoken to anyone about it, so it was kinda a good release."

Ayuru looked at Chuin in amazement.  He was the first to know?  _Don't do it, Ayuru, don't fall for him.  He'll end up getting hurt... possibly in more ways than one._  He cleared his throat.  _Jesus, at least say something..._

"I, ah... well, I can understand a little where you're coming from... maybe not entirely."

Chuin looked up at Ayuru, saw the larger man gazing down at him.  "You aren't about to run away and never speak to me again?"

"Why would I do that?" he asked simply.  "Because you had a rough time in your life?  Everyone does, it doesn't make them all of who they are."

There was a long, comfortable silence between them.  Finally, Chuin shrugged off the jacket Ayuru had loaned him, held it out to him.  "Thanks for the jacket.  I better get my ass to bed, though."

Ayuru took it from him, yawned.  "Yeah, me too."

"Good night," Chuin said, and turned to walk toward his building.

Ayuru, however, stood in the street, watching him go.  He looked down at the jacket, looked back up at Chuin.  Had Chuin looked over his shoulder, he would have seen the change come over Ayuru's face.  His eyes grew cold and unfeeling, his posture straightened, and an evil smirk formed on his lips.  At that moment, Ayuru was gone, shoved into a dark corner of his mind as another took over.

He was, in his own mind, a god.

He was the Seiryuu Shichiseishi Nakago.

-------

Chuin laid in bed, his eyes wide open, his body not willing to fall asleep.  The only light in the room came through the open window from a streetlamp.  A chilled wind flittered through the window, across Chuin's bed.  He breathed the air deep, allowing it to cleanse away the grime of the bar.  He finally relaxed in bed, let the tension drain from his body, sank into the mattress.

_What's up with you, Ayuru?  What deep secret do you have hiding behind those incredible eyes?_

He thought back to tonight, and their odd conversation in the middle of the street.  What had made him blurt out all the shit he went through up north?  It had seemed to come from no where.  Ayuru asked, Chuin told.

_And he said he understand a little.  What does that mean?  Gah!  I'm so confused._

Chuin took one more deep breath of the fresh air still wafting through his window, and fell into a peaceful sleep.


	3. Cajun food

Disclaimer:  ::reads letter from mail::  Dammit!  Yuu just wrote to me and said that, although she realizes that I REALLY love Fushigi Yuugi, she won't give it to me.  ::pout::

Author's notes:  Mucho mucho thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed... and a little extra to Antenora for actually giving me the swift kick in the pants I needed to get this chapter finished and posted. ^_____^  

-------

He walked the streets of New Orleans, his face straight and expressionless.  It had been weeks since he was out, and he gulped the cool New Orleans air as if it was water.  The wind picked up, swept the blonde hair that had cause him so much pain and ridicule back from his face, a face that looked like stone.  His cold blue eyes remained fixed on the road ahead of him, blinking only when they had to.  He neither smiled nor frowned, his eyebrows did not draw up in thought or down in displeasure.  He had no emotion, save one... Vengeance.  He would have his revenge.

Nakago walked into a building, threw 5 dollars on the counter inside the door.

"Take desk 12," the old woman behind the counter told him.

He nodded, walked to the desk marked by a thick black pen with the number 12 on it, sat down, and signed on to the internet.  He resumed his search where he had left off weeks earlier.

For hours, throughout the entire night, he worked tirelessly at the computer, following lead after lead, finding dead end after dead end.  He read countless articles, muddled through broken links, but did not become frustrated or angry.

It was dawn when Nakago left the twenty-four hour computer lab at dawn, walked back to Ayuru's apartment.  He had done what he could for the night, and now, going back to the apartment, Ayuru wouldn't suspect a thin

He had rounded the corner onto Chartres, and was just about the door of the building where Ayuru's apartment was located, when a voice made him stop.

"Ayuru!  Hey, Ayuru!"

_That voice... I know that voice... but, it couldn't be... could it?_

Nakago turned slowly, saw a figure jogging across the street toward him.

"Hey!"  Chuin greeted, smiling.  His smile faded when he saw Ayuru was wearing the same clothes he had on the night before.  "Ayuru, have you been out all night?"

Nakago's eyes widened.  _Tomo... it IS him, isn't it?_  He nodded.  "Yeah.  I had things to do."

"Wow... you better get some sleep.. you look like hell."  Chuin grinned at him.

Nakago forced a smile.  "I'm heading there now.  Bye."  He turned, and walked away from Chuin, who stared after him for a moment, then ran to catch up to him.

"Wait a sec!"

Nakago turned back.  "Why?"

Chuin stopped, stared at the ground.  "Um, well, because... I wanted to know what you were doing for lunch today."

"I'll be busy," he answered coldly, his blues flashed.

The silver-haired man blushed.  "Oh.  Well, then I guess I'll see you at the club.  Bye."

"Ayuru" nodded, spun around and walked into the apartment building, leaving Chuin standing on the sidewalk.

_Well,_ Chuin thought.  _That's that.  He certainly has no interest in me.._  He went back to his own apartment, brow furrowed.  _Strange though.  He wasn't that distant last night._

-------

Ayuru woke up, found himself lying flat on his bed, still wearing the clothes he had on the night before.  He glanced at the clock on his bedside table.  "One o'clock?  You have got to be kidding me!"  He sat up, looked around him.  The last thing he remembered was standing on the street, watching Chuin walk back to his apartment.

He sat a few moments longer, wondering about the clothes and sleeping so late, and then it dawned on him.

_Fuck!_ his mind yelled.  _What did you do last night, Nakago?_  Ayuru jumped out of bed, tore his clothes off, and went into the bathroom.  He looked at himself in the mirror.  His hair stood up at wild angles, and he had dark, puffy, circles under his eyes.  "You were out all night, weren't you?" he accused his reflection.  "Why can't you leave me alone!  Don't you realize that I don't want you here?  I am not you, and you are not me!  Just stay the fuck away!"  He pulled his fist back to slug the mirror, but stopped.  "No," he said, his voice softer, nearly a whisper.  "I won't be like you."

Ayuru went to the shower, turned the water on as hot as he could stand it, and took a quick shower.  Nakago knew the same people Ayuru did... except for Chuin.  _He better not have done anything to him,_ he thought.  When he was done showering, he went back into his bedroom and pulled on a pair of jeans, a dark blue button-down shirt that he left unbuttoned, and his black boots.  Then, he ran down the stairs and jogged across the street.

He pounded on Chuin's door.  _Please be home, please be home._  On the third knock, the door opened, and Chuin stood on the other side, staring at Ayuru in surprise.  "Ayuru?"

"Hi, Chuin."  He leaned against the doorframe.  "Uh, can I come in a minute?"

Chuin stepped back, opened the door wider.  "Sure."

Ayuru followed him into the cozy apartment, sat down in one of the chairs.  Chuin sat across from him on the one couch.  "So, what's up?" he asked.

The blond musician stared at Chuin.  What was he going to say?  Somehow, 'My alternate personality might have seen you this morning,' just wouldn't work quite right.  "Uh, well..."  _Aw hell, just go for it.  No harm in trying._  "What are you doing for dinner tonight?"

Chuin's beautiful amber eyes grew wide.  "N-nothing.  Why?"

"I was going to cook tonight, and I always make too much, so I was wondering if you'd consider eating with me."  Ayuru wasn't sure the exact reason for inviting Chuin to dinner, but he knew that there was something about the boy that he really liked.

"You aren't inviting me over because you were too busy to have lunch with me today, are you?" Chuin asked.

_Lunch?  He invited me to lunch today?_  Ayuru opened and closed his mouth.  _What do I say to that?_  "No, no... although, I do want to apologize for being cold to you this morning.  I was very tired."

Chuin nodded.  "Well, you were up all night working, so I guess I forgive you."

Ayuru smiled, relieved.  _So, Nakago... you're being nasty to people you don't even know, too?_  "Great.  So then, I'll see you around six?"

"Six is great."  Chuin walked Ayuru to the door.  "Bye."

Ayuru went back across the street to his apartment.  _I have a dinner date,_ he thought.  It was his first date he had had in at least a year.  Nakago's presense didn't do much for helping him get dates.  He walked through the door, gazed around the living room.  _I have massive cleaning to do._   He sighed, shrugged.  "Oh, well."

-----------

Chuin sat on his couch, flipping through channels on his 20 inch television.  He was restless, nervous.  Ayuru may have been cold this morning, but this afternoon he was extremely amiable... AND he was invited to dinner.  He hadn't yet gotten a taste of real New Orleans food, and given that Ayuru grew up in the city, chances were, he was making something Cajun.

Standing up with a huff, Chuin threw his remote on the couch.  "Time to go explore the city," he said aloud.  "And hope I don't get lost."

He had heard people talking about the cemeteries in New Orleans, and how everyone had to be buried in a tomb above ground due to the high water.  If they were buried in the ground, the water would rise and the bodies would float away.  Chuin giggled a little as he thought of random skeletons floating through the streets.  _My god, am I morbid,_ he thought.

There were quite a few people out on the streets, walking around in the heat of the afternoon.  The humidity was high, as were Chuin's spirits.  He strolled down Chartres, whistling the song that Ayuru had performed at the club the previous night.  He walked, gazed appreciatively at the old buildings, until he walked out of the city.  Here, old Louisiana plantations nestled in between each other, the houses huge and looming, but nearly hidden from view by vines that grew up the walls and onto the roof.  Chuin stopped and looked at one, recognized it as being the house from "Interview with the Vampire."  He turned then, looked across the field that ran beside the house, saw a large, iron gate.  He went that direction.

"Lafayette Cemetery" was the largest cemetery in New Orleans.  As Chuin walked through the gate, he could see why.  Endless rows of low, stone tombs ran on a seemingly random pattern.  Just when Chuin thought he had found a path, a tomb came out of nowhere and blocked his way.  He had just found one like that, and spun in several circles, looking for a way to get out, when a name caught his eye.

He walked up to the tomb, stared wide-eyed at what the inscription said.

"Beloved parents of Ayuru."

The names had been worn off with time, but what really intrigued him was the fact that they died on the same day.  "July 10, 1992," he read aloud.  That was a week away.  A week before the ten year anniversary.  _Whoa._

Chuin arrived back to his apartment several hours later.  He had spent almost three hours in Lafayette, reading inscriptions on the tombs.  In the apartment, he flopped down onto the couch, looked at the clock on his VCR.  "Four o'clock," he muttered.  "Two hours."          He sighed, jumped up again.  "Christ, Chu, calm the hell down!" he reprimanded himself.  He could feel the anxiety gnawing at his stomach.  It was just dinner, and Ayuru made it sound like it was a because-I-always-too-much-food dinner.

The twenty-one year old decided that the only way for him to calm down was to take a shower, so he did just that.  He spent longer than usual on his long silver hair, wanting it to be perfect for Ayuru.  It was shampooed twice, deep conditioned, and blow-dried so it hung silky and straight.  Chuin ran his hand through it a few times.  "Beautiful," he remarked, grinning at his reflection.  For tonight's "date" he chose a pair of silky black pants and a long-sleeved silver shirt that was sparkly.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, it was fifteen minutes before six.  He pulled his black boots on, grabbed his house key and put it in his pocked, and walked across the street.  When he knocked on the door, he saw his hands were shaking.

Ayuru answered the door, opening it with a sweeping bow.  "Enter, good sir.  Dinner hath, uh, not quite been serv-ed."

Chuin bowed as well.  "Why, thank you, my good man.  I offer my assistance if you so desire it."

They laughed together as Chuin walked into the apartment.  He sat at the small counter while Ayuru started checking things on the stove.  He was wearing tan khakis and a checkered button-down shirt.  "Do you want some wine?"

Chuin nodded.  "Sure."

Fifteen minutes later, Ayuru had set the food on the dining room table and he and Chuin sat down.  "So," Chuin said, looking at the food on the table.  "What are we eating?"

"Well, this is gumbo... a very traditional New Orleans dish.  And we have Cajun chicken, and parsley potatoes," Ayuru answered him.

"Mmm, can't wait to try it."

The two ate and talked, mainly about generic things.  Then, near the end of the dinner, Ayuru stared at Chuin with a sad look on his face.

"What is it?" Chuin asked, setting his fork down.

"You know how I told you last night that I understood a little about your life in PA?"

He nodded.

"Well," Ayuru put his own fork down, folded his arms on the table.  "It's because my parent's are dead, too.  They died almost ten years ago in a fire."

"Oh my God," Chuin remarked.  Whatever he had been thinking at the cemetery, it wasn't this.

"My grandma raised me since then... she lives in a house on the outskirts of the town."

Chuin looked at Ayuru.  His head was down, and his blonde hair was spilled around his face.  "Ayuru?"

The other man picked his head up.  Chuin nearly gasped at the pain etched on that handsome face.  "What brought this up?"

The corners of Ayuru's mouth lifted in a slight smile.  "Well, the ten year anniversary is next week, and... would go with me to visit their graves?"

Chuin's mouth dropped open.  "You want me to go with you?"  He was shocked.  He had only met him two days ago, and he wanted Chuin to go with him to his parents graves?  "I, uh..."

"If you don't want to, that's fine... I mean – "

"I would love to," Chuin jumped in, cutting Ayuru off.  He picked up his wine glass, drained its contents.  "Ayuru, this dinner was amazing.  I think you missed your calling."

Ayuru smiled, grateful for the subject change.  "I'm glad you liked it.  Traditional New Orlean's cooking really isn't too difficult.  You just have to know what spices to use."

Chuin helped Ayuru clear the table, and the two washed the dishes.  Chuin insisted on washing, while Ayuru dried them.  Once, when Chuin was handing Ayuru a plate, their hands touched.  It seemed as if electricity crackled between them from that slight touch.

When Chuin went to hand Ayuru the last dish in the sink, they looked into each other's eyes at the same time.

_Dammit, Ayuru... You know this is a bad idea!_ his mind bellowed.  _Be quiet,_ he told it.  _I won't lose to Nakago._  He grabbed Chuin's wrist, pulled him forward gently.  Their eyes didn't waver, until Ayuru leaned in.  Then, they both closed their eyes as their lips touched.  Ayuru ran a hand through Chuin's hair as the kiss deepened.  Chuin's arms locked around Ayuru's back, felt the muscles there tense.

After a few moments, they broke the kiss off, each panting slightly.

Chuin spoke first, a wide grin spreading across his face.  "So, what's for dessert?"

-------

Note:  GAH!  I know, that sounds so bad!!!  But someone has to be a little naughty, or there is just nooooooo point to this!!!  Don't hurt me!


	4. Dreams... Self-realization

Disclaimer: I give up.. it ain't mine.

Author's Notes:  It's been a while, I know… but I have to thank Mouse-chan for yelling at me to update.  ^____^  Weird… past life stuff… and… uh… inner conversations???

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Chapter 4:  Dreams… self-realization 

He couldn't sleep.  The heat in his apartment was stifling, and at the moment, no cool river breeze came through the window.  Chuin tossed and turned, sighed heavily.  _Oh, for God sakes, it was just a kiss!_  He stared up at the white ceiling, a silly grin coming over his face.  _A very NICE kiss,_ he thought.  "Oh Christ, Chu… it's 4 o'clock!  You have to be at work at 10 in the morning.  Go to sleep," he said aloud.  But his mind would not drift off, his body would not relax.  Finally, he sat up, threw his legs over the side of the bed, and stood.

Wearing only boxers and a thin tee shirt, Chuin stepped out onto his balcony and collapsed into a lounge chair.  He gazed up at the stars, marveling at their closeness.  It seemed almost as if they could be touched.  He heard a sound, his eyes drawing down to seek it out.  Ayuru had come out of his apartment, was standing there.  Chuin resisted the urge to call out to him.  _What do you think he'll say, seeing you sitting on your balcony at four in the morning?_  Then it hit him.  _What the hell is HE doing out at four morning?_  Ayuru's face held an angry scowl, and for a moment, it seemed as though he was going to go back in the apartment, but then he spun and stalked up the street away from the apartments.

"What in the world?" Chuin wandered out loud.  _Okay… let's think about this,_ the logical side of his brain kicked in.  _Maybe he has a late night practice… or maybe… maybe…_  He sighed.  _Maybe he's a psychotic serial killer and is going for some fresh blood,_ he finished sadly.  Suddenly feeling very weary, he rose from the chair, went back into his apartment, and fell into a restless sleep plagued by nightmares.

--------------

He was standing in what looked like a palace, wearing extremely odd clothes.  His head felt heavy.  Upon examining it, he saw that he was wearing a headdress with feathers, and his face was completely obscured by makeup.  Chuin looked around him.  "Where am I?"

A woman came down the hall, her eyes cold spears that pierced Chuin's heart.  "Tomo, Nakago-sama wants to see you."

_Tomo?  Who's Tomo?_ He thought, but he heard himself respond.  "Yes, Soi."  He began walking down the hall, admired the beautiful glass of the windows.  _Is that me?  Am I this Tomo person?_  Stopping at a door, he lifted his hand to knock, stared in horror at his bright red fingernails that were filed to sharp points.  "Dear, Seiryuu," he said.  _Seiryuu?  What --?_

"Come in, Tomo."

_I know that voice, that's Ayuru!_ He thought happily.  He opened the door and the entered the room, surprising himself by bowing deeply.  "Nakago-sama…" he acknowledged.

_Interesting, I'm me, yet, I'm not me._  He stood before "Nakago-sama," hands clasp in front of him.  The other man stood.

"Something must be done about the Suzaku no miko," he said, strolling around to stand in front of him.  "She must not be allowed to call Suzaku.  I can never become a god with her still trying to get Yui-sama back."

Chuin – Tomo, his mind corrected – nodded.  "I have a plan."  Chuin was amazed at the sound of his voice.  It was lilting and sounded like he was singing every time he spoke.

"Tell me."

"Send Ashitare to retrieve the shinzaho from the peak of Mt. Black.  The girl will no doubt follow, causing her to be separated from her seishi.  When that happens, I will use Shin and show her an illusion of Taiitsukun.  Taiitsukun will tell the girl about Bochuu magic, and convince her that the only way to get the shinzaho back is to attempt to lower your chi."  As Tomo told Nakago of the plan, Chuin watched from inside his mind.  Nakago was deeply interested, nodding at Tomo to go on.  "The girl will decide to do it, being as rash as she is.  She'll come to the campsite.  You will be the only remaining person.  Entice her with food, and she'll be all yours."

"All mine?  What do you mean?"

"She can't call Suzaku if she's not pure anymore," Tomo said.  Chuin was shocked at the evil and malice in his voice.

Nakago smirked.  "Indeed.  An excellent plan, Tomo.  We will put it into action immediately."

Tomo bowed.  "Very well, Nakago-sama."

"Now, nothing will stop me from becoming a god and ruling the world."

_Ayuru?  God?  What in the name of all that's holy is going on here?_  Tomo backed out of the room, stood in the hall just outside the door.  Chuin was suddenly blasted with the emotions going through Tomo's mind.  Longing, love, jealously… _He loves him.  He loves him more than life itself._

And, as Chuin woke up to the shrill buzzing of his alarm, one last thought echoed in his head.  _So do I…_

------------------

Ayuru laid in bed, staring at the ceiling.  His body hurt, and he wasn't sure why.  With much effort, he pushed himself off the bed and limped into the bathroom.  When he looked at himself in the mirror, his heart began to race.  One eye was black, swollen shut completely.  Bruises marked his arms, body, and legs.  _Did I get into a fight last night?_

He sat on the toilet lid, rested his chin on his hands.  "Okay.  Chuin came over, we had dinner, kissed, and he left.  I finished cleaning up, went to take a shower… and… then what?  I know I was outside last night, but I thought I was on my way into the apartment…"

A heavy lump settled into his stomach.  _Nakago…_  He leapt from the seat, glared at himself in the mirror.  "You bastard!  What have you done?"  Then he sighed.  He never could hear Nakago's thoughts, so what was the point.

Then he heard it.  A laughter so evil it chilled him to the bone.  Nakago.  The voice rose in his mind, amused.  "What, Ayuru?  Feeling a little… forgetful?"

"What did you do last night?  If you've hurt Chuin, I'll –"

"You'll what?" he growled.  "Kill me?  You'd have to kill yourself for that… are you sure you could do that?"

Ayuru looked away from his reflection.

"As I thought…"  The voice faded out, but came back again.  "You know… maybe I will pay Chuin a visit… you like him, right?  Yeah… perhaps a visit to Chuin would be profitable."

"No!" Ayuru yelled, his own voice filled in anguish.  "Stay away from him.  I won't let you hurt him, Nakago!"

The laughter rose up again, deafening.  "You could never control me… not even when I killed your parents."

"Killed my… no.. oh God, no!"  He dropped to his knees on the floor of his bathroom, felt tears well up and spill from his eyes.  "It was you… You set the fire, and left, and brought me back so I had no memory of what happened… You… how can you be this sadistic?  This cruel?"

"Sadistic??? Cruel??"  Nakago was seething with anger.  "You stupid boy.  I protected you."

"Protected me?"

"Your parents molested you!  When they'd come in your room at night to tuck you into bed, you'd retract, and I was forced to cope with it.  Me… not YOU!"

Ayuru was wracked with sobs.  He curled into a ball against the bathtub, hugged his knees.  _It's not true, it's not true, it's not true!_

"Oh, it is.  Go ask your grandmother about your childhood… See if she'll tell you the truth."

Nakago was gone, Ayuru knew.  But his feelings stayed.  The betrayal, the pain, the blind hatred… He let out a sob, wiped the tears from his face.  Pulling himself to his feet, he walked over to a chair in his bedroom, sat in it.

He sat there for three hours, not moving, too stunned to think.  Finally, he stood, dressed in jeans and black tank top, and left his apartment.

-----------------

It only took him 20 minutes to walk to the little house outside of New Orleans.  The welcome sign, the same one that had greeted him when he was 11, smiled at him at the beginning of the driveway.  It looked old now, its paint was peeling and cracked, but just seeing it made him feel a little better.

He strolled up the driveway, studying the house.  It was small, perfect for one or two people, with white siding and black shutters.  The yard was well kept, and along the walk up to the porch, blue and red pansies bloomed on either side, even more welcoming the sign.

Ayuru stepped up to the door, knocked on it.  

"Who's there?" a voice called.

"It's me, Grandma!"  He heard a little squeal of joy.

"Well come in, child!  What are doing knocking on your own door?"

He smiled despite feeling less than happy, and walked into the house.  Immediately, the scent of hot, Cajun spices met his nose.  He breathed deeply.  For as many years as he lived there, the house had always smelled like that.  His grandmother loved to cook her hot spicy food, and Ayuru loved to eat it.

Following the sounds he knew she had to be making, Ayuru walked into the little room at the back of the house.  There she sat, on a stool, with a clay wheel in front of her.  The walls of the room were lined with painted cups, bowls, vases… everything.

"Still making your pottery, Grandma?"

She stood, wiped her muddy hands on her apron.  "Ru dear, I'll be making pottery until the good lord calls me home."  She rushed to him, wrapped him in her strong arms.

Ayuru felt tears start again, but he held them back quickly.  This woman had raised him, and he didn't even like the thought of her not ever being there.  "I need to talk to you, Grandma."

"Good lord, child!  What's happened to you?" she asked, indicating the bruises.

"Oh.. I fell down the stairs at my apartment," he said, making up the quickest lie he could.  "There was water on the floor and I slipped in it."

She eyed him suspiciously, then shrugged her shoulders.  "Even ballerinas sometimes trip."

They walked into her brightly colored kitchen, and Ayuru sat down in the chair he sat in for eight years.  It didn't matter where he lived… when he came here.. he was home.  His grandmother, or Miz Zacharie, as the neighborhood called her, poured them both a glass of lemonade, then sat down opposite Ayuru.  "Well, what did you want to talk about?"

Ayuru looked down at his hands wrapped around the cup.  He didn't think about how to bring it up, only that he had to ask her.  "Well.. it's about my childhood."

TBC….  Muahahaha!


	5. The Truth Comes Out

Disclaimer:  ::pout::  still not mine… but Miz Zacharie is.. ain't she neat??

Author's Notes:  ::wails::  I'm sorry Trikster… I had to do it!  Thanks to everyone who reviewed!  They're the drving force behind my writing!

Heaven's Door:  Chapter 5 

The truth comes out

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As Ayuru asked the question, he watched Miz Zacharie's reaction.  She stiffened, her eyes growing wide.  "Your childhood?  My child, what about it?"

He took a deep, shaky breath.  He wasn't ready for this, wasn't ready to know the truth… but he had to know.  "How did my parents die?"

Miz Zacharie stood up, sent her chair clattering over.  "Why are you asking something to which you already know the answer?"

Ayuru felt his heart sank.  She was answering his question with a question, which could mean one thing.  _She's holding out on me._  He looked at her, his blue eyes pleading.  "Please Grandma.  It's so important that you tell me.  If you don't, I'll just go to public records and find out… but I want to hear it from you."

The old woman hesitated, then sighed heavily.  She picked her chair up, sat down slowly.  "Your parents," she began, swallowing hard.  "weren't good people.  They were… mentally unstable… and did things to you that no parent should do to their child."

His face turned to stone.  No way was he going to react to this the way Nakago wanted him to.  "You mean they molested me."

Miz Zacharie sqeezed her eyes shut, allowing one tear to slide down her cheek.  She nodded.  "It went on for years.  During that time… you, well… you sort of developed a split personality."

"Nakago…" Ayuru said quietly.

Miz Zacharie's eyes widened.  "Yes, that was his name.  He would come out when your parents…" she paused, looked away.  "He protected you… but it ultimately cost your parents their lives.  He killed them, set fire to the house, and walked out, leaving you to deal with it."

"That's when they put me on the meds, right?"  Ayuru felt a headache coming on.  So much had already happened today, and it was only early afternoon.

"Right.  After a while, Nakago was gone, and you were left."  Now she narrowed her eyes at Ayuru.  "What brought this on?  Nakago isn't back, is he?"

_Oh, shit,_ he thought.  "No, no, of course not.  It's just that someone said something that got me thinking.  And it was just so important that I know."  His mind was reeling.  His parents were bad… they did horrible things to him… yet he could not hate them.  Instead, he felt a swell of pity for Nakago for having to endure the horrors that should have been his.

_Don't you fuckin' do it,_ Nakago's voice entered his mind, cold, dripping with malice.  _You keep your weak feelings of pity to yourself.  I don't want them._

_Shut up,_ Ayuru said.

Miz Zacharie was staring at Ayuru.  He seemed to be going through some kind of inner conflict.  "'Ru, listen to me.  I loved your mother deeply.  She was my daughter, but when she married your father, she changed.  You have every right to hate them…"

"But I don't," he said.  "How can I?  I don't remember any of the things they did to me.  I'm horribly confused."

She nodded sadly.  "Child, I should have told you before.  I am sorry.  But, now you know the truth."

_Almost,_ he thought.  "Grandma… do you know where Nakago came from?"

Nakago's voice broke into his thoughts.  _Don't go there._

She stared at him a moment before answering.  "No, I don't.  The psychiatrists didn't know, either.  He just seemed to appear to protect you."

_Oh, if only that was all he did._  Ayuru stood up, hugged his grandmother tightly.  "Thank you," he whispered.

He left the house feeling just as confused, only more upset.  Why was he able to hear Nakago now, after all these years?  What did it mean?  And why was he still taking over and doing things?  _What are you up to?_

Nakago didn't answer.

---------------

Chuin walked casually behind the bar.  In the middle of the day, there were very few people in the club, so only one person was needed.  Usually, Claudine had that job, but she had called off sick, so Chuin was told to fill in for her.

He was on one side of the bar, drying glasses.  He heard the creak of a bar stool as someone sat down, so he walked around to the other side.  Ayuru sat with his head in his hands, looking exhausted.

"Ayuru?"

The blonde looked up managed a weary smile.  "Gimme a whiskey, straight."

Chuin gave him his drink, watched carefully as he slammed it back without blinking.  "Ayuru… you all right?"

He shook his head.  "No, I'm not."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not here," Ayuru said.  He was dying to talk to someone, and who better than the man he hoped could be his boyfriend?

At that moment, a woman in her mid forties showed up behind the bar.  "Hey, Chuin.  You're off, I'll take it from here."

He nodded, throwing his towel behind him in the bin.  "Come on," he said to Ayuru.

The other man stood up, threw a bill on the bar, and followed Chuin into the back of the club.

They went into the dressing room for Beaded Dragon.  "So, what's up?"

Ayuru shook his head.  "Chu, when I figure it all out, I'll tell you.  Right now though, I wouldn't know where to begin."  _Or where to end,_ he added silently.

The silver-haired man stepped up to him, threw his arms around his neck.  "Then when you figure it out, you tell me."

Ayuru let Chuin pull him into a tight embrace.  The feel of the his arms holding him so close made Ayuru's heart ache.  He knew, that eventually he would hurt Chuin, and he didn't want that to happen.

"Wanna walk with me home?" Chuin asked.

Ayuru shook his head.  "I think I'm going to walk around a little bit, clear my head.  I'll see you later."  He left without another word, Chuin watching his back as he walked stiffly out the door.

--------------

Chuin lay sprawled on his stomach on his couch.  One arm dangled over the edge, while the other rested above his head on the arm of the couch remote control grasped between the fingers.  He settled on a  blues music channel, but wasn't watching it.

Ayuru had been so distracted today, upset even.  Chuin frowned, remembering the bewildered, tragic look on Ayuru's face.  Something had happened between their dinner and when he had seen him at the club… something bad.  It dawned on him then… early this morning… he had seen Ayuru leaving his apartment.  What had happned?

Chuin sat up with a growl.  Too many strange things were happening to him since he had moved to New Orleans.  Weird dreams, Ayuru… it was all too much for him to bear at once.

A loud knock at the door shook him from his thoughts.  "Who is it?"

A muffled "me" sounded on the other side.

It was Ayuru.  Chuin jumped up, ran his hands through his hair, and called "Come in!"

The door swung open, and Ayuru stepped through.  He looked different than he had earlier.  His face bore no traces of any emotion, his eyes were expressionless.

"Ayuru?  You all right?"

A small, barely noticeable smile crept to his lips.  It was a smile that never reached his eyes.  "Yes, I'm fine."  He walked up to Chuin, kissed him roughly.

The other man pulled away.  "Are you sure?"

Ayuru gripped Chuin's arms painfully, pulled him toward him.  "Of course, I am.  Aren't I allowed to kiss my boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend?  Ayuru… we haven't known each other that long –"  Chuin's words were cut off as Ayuru crushed his mouth in a bruising kiss.  He struggled against him, but Ayuru was too strong.  They fell backward on the couch, Chuin still trying to push Ayuru away.

_NO!_  Ayuru cried out, but the sound was only in his mind.  Nakago had taken control, and this time, Ayuru was forced to watch.  _Let him go, Nakago!_

_Why?  He's truly a beautiful creature…_  Nakago pinned Chuin's arms above his head, tore his lips away.  When Chuin tried to speak, Nakago held his arms with one hand, clamped the other over Chuin's mouth.  He licked along the delicate jawline, down the neck to his collarbone.

Chuin whimpered, tears poured from his amber eyes.  Nakago pulled his hand away to tear off the shirt Chuin was wearing.

"Please… Ayuru… don't.  What's wrong with you?" Chuin cried.  He couldn't move.  Ayuru had all his weight pressed against him, and his arms pinned.  He was completely restrained.

"Wrong?  Why should something be wrong?"

"Because… you aren't this cold, this detatched…"

Nakago growled into Ayuru's face.  "You know NOTHING about me!"

"So you're telling that the man I ate dinner with last night is this cold, heartless person I see before me?"  Chuin was sobbing now, and still futilely struggling against Ayuru.

_Nakago!  Don't hurt him!_  Ayuru was sobbing in his mind, wanting to close his against the horror unravelling before him, but unable to do so.

Nakago's mouth was trailing a wet line down to Chuin's chest.  He roughly nipped at Chuin's nipples, rellishing in the feel of the smaller man fighting against him.  His free hand moved down to Chuin's stomach, stroked the skin right above the waistband of his pants.  He deftly undid the button, slid his hand under.  Chuin bucked wildly, screaming, "No!  Ayuru, get off me!  Stop!"  But Nakago kissed his way down to Chuin's stomach, paused a moment to look up at the smaller man's wide, frightened eyes, and grin.  _That's not Ayuru!_ Chuin's mind cried out.  _It can't be!_

Ayuru pushed with all his might, willed Nakago to retreat.  The laughter hit him loudly.  _You can't force me away, Ayuru,_ Nakago said.  _I'm stronger than you._  He swirled his tongue in circles down to wear Chuin's pants met his waist.  He slowly pulled the zipper down, shoved his hand the whole way down and grasped Chuin roughly.

_NO._

Another voice entered the minds of the two personallities, and for a moment, Ayuru wondered if a third personality had formed.

**Ayuru… don't let Nakago win.  You have the strength.  You have the strength.**

The voice was deep, and reminded Ayuru of a calm blue ocean.  It urged him on, gave him more strength.  He pushed again, feeling him regain a little control of his body.

"Chuin!" he yelled.  He let go of his wrists, moved off him.

The scared man scrambled to sit up, eyeing him fearfully.  "Go… now!  Hide somewhere where I won't find you."

"What?"

Nakago was using every bit of strength he had, forcing Ayuru away.  "Go NOW!!!"

Chuin jumped off the couch, ran out the door, and didn't stop until he was several blocks away, his legs felt like wet noodles, and his lungs burned.  He was confused, hurt, sad.  Why had Ayuru done what he did?  It was as if two different people were there, one who wanted to hurt him, and one who tried to protect him.

"Dear Seiryuu, what the hell's going on?"

_Seiryuu?  Who's Seiryuu?_  He had said the name like he had been saying it all his life.  Then he remembered… _I said that in my dream.. or.. he did.. Tomo._  Chuin looked around him.  He was right at the gate to Lafayette Cemetery.  Walking inside, he made his way to the center of the cemetery where he had seen benches the day before.

He sat down on one, drew his knees up to hug them.  It was cooling off outside, and he didn't have a shirt on.  His mind whirled, thousands of thoughts spinning around, seemingly bouncing off one another.

_So… there's this Tomo guy… and he looks like me… or… he was me?  Or I was him?_  Chuin tried to sort things out, but to no avail.  _Or.. maybe I'm just going completely insane, and Ayuru is a jerk._  But no… that didn't make sense.  Ayuru had been so cool, why would he jeopardize that for meaningless rape?  Chuin shivered as the word stuck in his mind.  Rape… Ayuru had almost raped him… but then something had happened.  He seemed to come back to himself, not that that made any sense.  He had protected Chuin from… what?  Himself?  "Argh!" Chuin growled aloud.

"Child!  What in the name of the gods are you doing in here at this time without a shirt on?!"

Chuin jumped at the voice, eyes wandering over to a small, old lady with kind eyes.  She was staring at him horrified.

"I… uh… it's a long story."  He didn't even know how to begin telling her what happened.

"I'll tell you what," the old lady said, a warm smile softening her face.  "Walk with me to visit my daughter's grave and then I'll talk to you back to my place and get warmed up.  I do hate comin' here by myself."

He nodded, standing up.  "Okay," he answered quietly.

They walked to the right, the old lady knowing the exact way, until she came to a stop.  Chuin looked around, he recognized this place… didn't realize why until he saw the tomb the old lady was staring at, sadness distorting her face.

"Beloved parents of Ayuru" glared at him from the cold stone.

"You… you're Ayuru's grandmother!"

The old lady turned to him, surprised etched on her face.  "Yes, I am.  How do you know my 'Ru?"

Chuin opened his mouth, hesitated.  "He… lives right across the street from me," he answered carefully.

Ayuru's grandmother smiled.  "They call me Miz Zacharie."

"Chuin."

--------------

TBC!!!!!!!!!!  ::cries:: that was terrible!  I had chills writing it!


	6. Forgiveness

Disclaimer:  I don't own and Yuu… I'M SORRY FOR TORTURING YOUR CHILDREN!!!!

Author's Note:  After having received a loving threat from dear Shadow Priestess, I thought it in my best interest to update this little fic so I didn't die a horrible, painful death.  **fanged grin**  Thanks Shadow Priestess!  Great motivation!  **deep breath** okay… Baaaaaaaad chapter is over… heeheehee.. still wondering what Nakago's after?  I'm not telling… I'm not telling… but he might… sometime…  ^__~ 

Heaven's Door 

Chapter 6: Forgiveness

Chuin sat at Miz Zacharie's table, sipping hot chocolate from mug.  The old woman had insisted he come to her house, and had given him a sweater to warm him up.  Chuin knew without a doubt that the sweater was Ayuru's, it smelled like him.  Miz Zacharie also insisted that he stay the night in one of the guest rooms.  He looked down at his wrists, at the angry bruises that had appeared there.  The confusion was still there… but more than that was the hurt.  Ayuru had hurt him in more ways than one.

_What's going on with him?  One minute he's caring and kind… and the next he's cold and cruel and trying to…_ he made his thoughts break off.  An involuntary shudder hit him, and he swallowed hard to prevent himself from crying again.

Miz Zacharie came into the kitchen, sat down in a chair adjacent to him.  "My child, you look awful."

Chuin managed a weak smile.  "It's… been a rough night."

She fixed him with suspicious wise eyes.  "Are you and 'Ru seeing each other?"

He choked on his hot chocolate.  He looked her, unsure of how to answer.

The woman waved a hand in the air.  "I know he's gay, it's okay."

"Oh… yeah… we are… or were."

"What happened?" she pressed.

_I don't want to tell her bad things about her grandson!  But I want to tell someone!_  He took a deep breath.  "Ayuru and I, just met a week ago.  Things were going so well, until tonight.  He came to my apartment… and he was so cold…" he trailed off, hugged himself.

"Cold?  How?"

"He.. he shoved me down, pinned my arms above my head…" Chuin stopped, shook his head.

Miz Zacharie sat thoughtfully for a moment.  "How did you get away?"

Chuin looked at her, tears forming in his amber eyes.  "He let me go.. He screamed for me to run, so I did."

A dark cloud passed over the old woman.  "Nakago…" she hissed.

_Did she…?_  Chuin's hand darted out, grasped her arm tightly.  "What name did you say?"

"Nakago… It wasn't Ayuru who did that to you.  It was Nakago."

He stared at her for a moment.  She looked angry, and wasn't looking at him, but staring at an unseen thing.  "Who's Nakago?" he asked quietly.

"Ayuru didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"  
Miz Zacharie sighed.  "If 'Ru didn't tell you, then it's not my place.  But just know that Ayuru saved you tonight, he didn't hurt you."  She stood up.  "Come with me, I'll show you where you can sleep tonight."

Chuin stumbled after the short woman, thoughts running wildly in his head.  When he had settled into bed, he allowed himself to think hard about what she had said.

_Nakago… that was what Ayuru went by in my dream… and now she's saying that it wasn't Ayuru who attacked me… but Nakago…  What the hell does that mean?_  He let the tears come, and quietly cried himself to sleep.

-----------------

He was back in the dream, dressed in the odd clothes while people called him Tomo.  He was standing in a tent, looking at Ayuru.  The blonde was sitting in a chair, scowl on his face.  He had no shirt on, and a dressing had been wrapped around his shoulder.  The girl who had been in the other dream placed a robe over his shoulders.

"Leave us, Soi."

The girl cast Chuin a dark look, then bowed and retreated from the tent.

"Nakago-sama… how did this happen?"  _There it is again… that name.._ thought Chuin.  He walked over, knelt in front of him.

"Tamahome followed the girl, he surprised me."

"So he knows that Suzaku no Miko is not pure anymore."  Chuin cackled, a maniacal, evil laugh.

"Suzaku no Miko's purity remains intact," Ayuru/Nakago said.

Chuin felt Tomo grow angry.  "Nani?"  _Wait.. now I'm speaking Japanese?  How weird can this dream get?_

Nakago looked up, locked his blue eyes with Tomo's amber ones.  "It matters not.  If she thinks she was raped, then the plan worked."

"Why didn't you?" he asked.

"I couldn't," he said quietly.  "She was on the floor, unconscious, and a red chi emanated from her body… It formed a barrier that even I couldn't get through."

Tomo leaned his face towards Nakago's.  "Couldn't or wouldn't?"

Nakago's eyes flashed with a blue glow.  "Do not cross me Tomo…" he warned.

He backed away, bowed respectfully.  "Hai, gomen nasaii, Nakago-sama."

Then, Nakago rose from his chair, gripped Tomo's arms painfully, and suddenly, Chuin was in his apartment, with Ayuru on top of him.  

"No, Ayuru.. please!  Don't!"  He looked up at Ayuru's eyes, but they were ice… just as Nakago's had been.

Ayuru bent closer, started kissing Chuin… 

------------------

Chuin woke up in a cold sweat, sat bolt upright.  He was breathing hard, and was gripping the sheet so tightly he almost couldn't let go.  _Okay, heart… you can stop racing now…_  His heart complied, and began to slow its rapid beating… until Chuin realized he wasn't alone in the room.

A figure, framed by the light of the hall, stood in the door.

"Wh-wh-who's there?" Chuin asked in a shaky voice.

The figure moved forward, walking up to Chuin and placing its hand over his mouth.

"Shhh, Chuin… I need to talk to you."

Ayuru… Suddenly, all Chuin wanted to do was scream.  Instead, he froze, wide-eyed, and simply stared at the man who only hours ago had tried to rape him in his own apartment.

Ayuru moved into the moonlight streaming through the window.  He gazed into Chuin's eyes, and Chuin saw that there was no malice, no hate, no coldness in those eyes.  Rather, they looked haggard, tired, and pleading.

"Okay," he whispered.  Ayuru backed away, waved for Chuin to follow him.  The smaller man crawled out of bed, pulled on his pants and the sweater Ayuru's grandmother had given him, and followed.

They walked outside, away from the house.  A stupid panic worked its way into Chuin's head.  _What if he's taking me out into the woods so he can rape me, kill me, and then hide my body?_  He opened his mouth to say something, but Ayuru wasn't walking toward the woods.  Instead, he was walking toward the cemetery.

Chuin kept his mouth shut and followed.  Once they were in the cemetery and seated on the benches in the center, Ayuru turned to speak.

"There are… things… you need to know about me.  Things I should have explained when we first met.  I just.. I didn't want to lose you."  Ayuru sounded much like the wounded animal, instead of the hunter.

Chuin looked at him.  "Who's Nakago?" he asked.

Ayuru didn't say anything for a moment, but finally took a deep breath, and began to speak in a low voice.  "When I was a child, my parents… molested me.  I don't remember any of it, because when it happened, my alternate personality came out and I went away into the recesses of my mind.  The alternate personality, Nakago, protected me… but he killed my parents, and set fire to the house."  Ayuru paused, swallowed hard.  "I was put on medication to make Nakago go away, and he did… until two years ago.  For some reason he came back, and every once in a while he'd take over."

"Like tonight?"

He looked up at Chuin, tears sliding down his cheeks.  "When I woke up this morning, I could barely move.  Nakago had gone out during the night… and I guess he got into a fight or something.  I started yelling, and he came into my head.  We had an argument… and I went to my grandmother's to talk to her.  After that, I was so upset it was easy for him to come out.  I could only watch as he went to your apartment, and—"  Ayuru cut off, and a sob escaped his lips.  "I wasn't strong enough to stop him, until I heard this voice.  It was a beautiful voice, and it told me to be strong.  I used every bit of strength I had to push him away and tell you to run."  Ayuru started, surprised by the soft, strong, warm fingers that closed over his own.  He looked down, saw Chuin's hand over his, squeezing tightly.

"But you did save me, Ayuru, you did."  Chuin had tears in his eyes well.  _It all makes sense now…_ he thought.  _Except for the dream…_

Ayuru burst into tears.  "I am so sorry, Chuin.  I don't deserve to be forgiven."

Chuin reached up and pulled Ayuru into a hug.  "Of course you do.  It isn't your fault."  _Well,_ he thought, _isn't this interesting?_

After a few moments, Ayuru's sobs dwindled and died out.  He sat up, wiped his eyes.

"Ayuru, what is it that Nakago wants?" Chuin asked.

The taller man shrugged.  "I have no idea, but I do know the only reason he went after you is because of us."

"The only way we can stop him is if we find out what he's after."

Ayuru narrowed his eyes at Chuin.  "What are you getting at?"

"The next time Nakago comes out, I'm going to follow him."

Ayuru shook his head vehemently.  "No, Chuin, you can't.  I can't control him, if he finds you, who knows what he'll do."

"Ayuru," Chuin stared intently at him.  "It's the only way."  He reached up and cupped Ayuru's cheek.  Then he moved forward and kissed him softly on the lips.  "Don't worry about me… I'll be fine."

TBC… bwahahaha!


	7. Answers

Disclaimer:  We've been through this before.  The only thing I own is four, not-good-quality, taped from a tape of tape of the series.  Does it sound like I *#$&# own the series???

Author's Notes:  I'm FINALLY back!  It's been a while, I know.  I've had.. umm.. problems... writing this.  But.. all's well... it's done.. and yay!

Warnings:  Shounen ai.. OF COURSE!  Strange, reincarnation dreams, Sunekake babaa, A LOT of info in this chapter... ehehehe... read on, read on!

Heaven's Door

Chapter 7:  Answers

-------

_Chuin knew he was back in the palace.  He had the same weird clothes on, and the same dreadful makeup he was wearing in the other dreams.  Looking around him, he saw he was standing in what appeared to be a temple, a large statue of a dragon before him, and water all around.  The temple was really quite beautiful.  A high, vaulted ceiling gave it a sense of hugeness without actually being large.  The floor was marble, except where the water lay in pools and flowed freely from fountains.  The sound was calming, and Chuin felt a sense of peace at just standing there, admiring the details of the dragon sculpture._

_"Why are you here, Tomo?"_

_That voice.  That voice that was so like Ayuru's, only darker, more sadistic sounding.  Spinning around, he saw the man who would be his boyfriend if not for the cold, cruel eyes peering at him from narrow slits.  The question seemed to only alert the man to Nakago's presence, not intending to be answered.  But Tomo spoke anyway, using the sing-songy inflictions in his voice that made it different from Chuin's._

_"I came to pray to Seiryuu, Nakago-sama, of course."  He felt Tomo's courage flare.  "Why are you here?"_

_Nakago raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised at the other man's bravery.  "I came to pray as well."  He was standing at the doors, not seeming surprised at all to find Tomo in the temple.  A white robe adorned his body, with a maroon sash and cape attached to it._

_A dry chuckle worked its way out of Tomo's throat.  "No you didn't.  Nakago-sama, I've known you for a few years... you try to avoid this place as if it would kill you to step foot through the doors."_

_The blonde man closed the gap between the two in three steps, glaring down at Tomo.  "Do not presume to know me, Seiryuu no shichiseishi Tomoboshi.  You know NOTHING about me!"  The last came out in a hiss, and Tomo took an unsteady step back._

This man, this Tomo... he's obviously in love with Nakago... but what is Nakago doing here... or for that matter... why is he in Ayuru's mind? _Chuin thought.  Tomo had turned back to the statue, muttered to Seiryuu to give him strength, then turned back to Nakago, who stood still._

_"Shogun," he started, but Nakago raised a hand._

_"Iie, Tomo, do not say anything.  Your curiousity has served you well."  Nakago walked to the line of benches that ran along the one wall, seemed to sink into one.  Tomo followed, but remained respectfully standing._

_Then Nakago began to speak, his voice clear and deep, commanding Tomo's as well as Chuin's, full attention.  "As you are well-aware, Tomo, I am not of Kutou.  I am Hin.  You should also be aware that the Hin people served the god Tenkou.  When I was a child, the day I was to look upon our God, I became ill.  I realized later that it was because I was a Seiryuu shichseishi, Tenkou had already cast me out of the tribe.  Then, the Kutou army came, and I was taken to the palace.  I had, before meeting the emperor, been ready to swear my allegiance to Seiryuu, the one who had given me all this power.  But, after the emperor, I decided that I owed my allegiance to no one."  Nakago looked at Tomo, his blue eyes clouded with a deep, impenetrable pain.  "I swore allegiance to myself, and to myself only.  Now, Tomo, do you want to know of my plan?"_

_The man nodded, unable to speak._

_Nakago allowed a thin smile to grace his lips.  "You know that Yui-sama was never raped.  You know that I told her she was simply to make her become Seiryuu no Miko."_

_Again, Tomo nodded._

_"All that has happened so far has been exactly to my plan.  I took care of Yui-sama when she tried to kill herself, indebting her to me.  The foolish girl will no doubt want to do something for me for saving her life.  When the time is right, I'll ask her to save one wish for me, to repay me for being the loyalist friend she had here.  That wish, Tomo, will be to grant me the powers of a God."_

_Tomo gasped, staring at Nakago with wide eyes.  "N-Nakago..."_

_Nakago stood then, walked up to him, their faces only inches apart.  "When that happens, Tomo, I'll be the ruler, the creator, the destroyer.  The world will be as I want it to be."  He smiled, an odd thing for the shogun to do.  "Would you like to be a part of it?"_

_"A part of it?" Tomo echoed._

_He nodded.  "Swear your allegiance to me, and when I become a God, you'll be commander of my armies."_

_Chuin felt Tomo's mind swirling.  "Commander?  Why me?"_

_"You're cunning, you're cruel, and you're the only shichiseishi that doesn't annoy me," Nakago admitted.  "Now, what say you, Tomo?"_

_To Chuin's surprise, Tomo dropped to one knee in front of Nakago.  "I pledge my allegiance to you, Nakago-sama.  I will serve you until my life is taken from me."_

_Nakago grabbed Tomo by the arms, lifted him to his feet.  "We will be unstoppable," he said, a crazed glint reflecting in the pure blue of his eyes._

--------

Chuin awoke with a start, took a moment to let the confusion and the feelings of Tomo slip away, then sat up.  He dropped his head in his hands, rubbed his eyes.

"I'm going insane, aren't I?" he asked aloud.  The dreams, they were slowly tearing away at his mental stability, leaving him feeling oddly helpless and vulnerable.  He sat on the edge of his bed for a long while, reflecting on all that had happened the previous night.

He and Ayuru had stayed in the cemetery for hours, talking.  When they finally stumbled back, exhausted, to their apartments, Chuin had fallen asleep immediately.  The sun now shown brightly through the windows.  Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was noon.

Standing, he stretched like a cat, felt a satisfying crack in his back.  He walked out to his kitchen, made some coffee.  While it was brewing, sending the eye-opening aroma throughout the apartment, there was a knock at the door.

Chuin opened it, greeting the person on the other side with a smile.

"Chuin Ryo?"  It was a FedEx man.

"Yes?"

The man held out a box.  "Package for you, sir.  Just sign on this line."

Chuin took the box, scribbled his name on the receiving sheet.  "Thanks," he said.  He was about to close the door, when Ayuru walked up behind the man.  "Hey!" Chuin greeted.  "Come on in!"

Ayuru smiled half-heartedly, but stepped through the door.  "Someone send you something?"

The other man looked at the box.  "It's from Pennsylvania," he said.

Ayuru leaned over and gave Chuin a peck on the cheek.  "Well, open it," he urged.

Grabbing a knife from the kitchen while Ayuru poured them coffee, Chuin cut the tape on the box and tore it open.  A letter sat on top, so he read that first.

_Dear Mr. Ryo,_

_Having gone through the things left from your parents' departure, the law firm found this book among the junk.  It looked to be worth money, and since you are the surviving member of the family, it is yours by law.  We are still very sorry for your loss, and hope that whatever this book contains will mean something of a sentimental value for you._

_Sincerely,_

_Bob Thatcher_

Chuin snickered.  Those fools at the law firm never cared for him or his family.  They wanted their money and that was all.  He was mildly surprised that they even bothered to send him the book... whatever book it was.

He was staring so intently at the letter that he jumped when there was suddenly a steaming cup of coffee floating in front of him.  He stared at it for a moment, then he heard a chuckle.

"Do you want this, or were you making coffee for the hell of it?"

He grabbed the cup and took a healthy gulp, letting the hot liquid burn a comfortable warmth down his throat to his stomach.  "Thanks," he said.

"So," Ayuru sat across from him at the table.  "What did you get?"

"A book."

"A book?"  Ayuru raised an eyebrow, but Chuin ignored him, pulling the book out of the box.  It was old, ancient-looking really.  The brown leather that made its cover was worn and even torn in some spots.  Chuin looked at the spine.  A row of Chinese characters looked back at him.

"It's in Chinese," he said.  "I can't read Chinese."

Ayuru took a drink of his coffee and set it down.  "Chinese?  Why did your parents have a Chinese book?"

Chuin shrugged.  "Beats me.  'The Universe of the 4 Gods'?"  His jaw dropped.  "I just read that.  Ayuru, I just READ that."

"Didn't you just say you couldn't read Chinese?" Ayuru asked.

The dark-haired man looked up at him.  "I can't... or... I thought I couldn't.  I never learned."  He opened up the book.  "Yet, I can read every word.  What the hell is going on?"

Ayuru stood up and walked around the table to peer over Chuin's shoulder.  "Read some of it."

But Chuin didn't answer.  He sat at the table, the book in his hands, and remained silent.

"Chuin?"

"He's in here," he whispered, his amber eyes wide and fearful.

"Who?"  Ayuru was going crazy, wanting to know what Chuin was talking about.

"Nakago."

The silence in the room was loud.  Seconds ticked by, but neither of the men moved or spoke.  Chuin heard the dripping of water in the sink, the faint sound of the traffic on the road below them.  He looked up and finally noticed that Ayuru was shaking.  "Ayuru, what--?"

"Get out of here," he said, his voice trembling.  "Chuin, go... NOW!"

Chuin clutched the book to his chest, and ran out of the apartment.  On his way out, he glanced over his shoulder.  A bright blue light was pouring out of the door to his apartment.  _Where am I going?_ he thought wildly.  The answer came as if it had always been there.  _Miz Zacharie.  I have to go to Miz Zacharie._  He held the book tighter and ran faster.

Nearly falling down the stairs that lead out to the street, Chuin ran in a crazed, stumbling manner.  He didn't slow down or pause until Miz Zacharie's house was in sight.  Then he slowed to brisk walk, still holding the book to his chest, right over his rapidly beating heart.

He reached the porch, and, breathing hard, reached up to knock.  But the door opened and Miz Zacharie stood there, concern etched on her face.

"Come in, child, quickly!" she said.

Chuin tripped through the door, made his way into the kitchen.  Miz Zacharie followed, took one quick glance at the book in his arms, and sat down at the table.  "You have the book," she observed.

He looked at her, scared, and nodded silently.

"Do you know what this book is, Chuin?"

"N-no," he answered, still trying to get his breath back.

"What if I were to tell you that you are the reincarnation of a character in that book?" Miz Zacharie asked.

Chuin laughed bitterly.  "At this point, Miz Zacharie, I'm willing to believe anything."

The old woman raised an eyebrow, studied the young man.  "Then I will explain things to you, young Chuin."  She sat down across from him at the table, held her hands out.  "Let me see the book."

Hands shaking, Chuin slid the book across the table to her.  Miz Zacharie flipped open the cover and scanned the first page.  "Well, I'll be damned," she muttered.  Looking up at Chuin, she allowed a smile to grace her lips before frowning again.  "This book here is the reason Nakago is in Ayuru."

Chuin stared at the woman, blinked.  Had she lost her mind in her old age?  What the hell was she talking about?

"Actually," Miz Zacharie went on, ignoring the blank look on the man's face.  "This book here is the reason Ayuru exists.  It's the reason you exist, too."  She stood abruptly, walked to the stove, put on a kettle.  "This book is called the Universe of the 4 Gods.  It has the power to take a young woman from this world, and pull her into the world that exists in this book.  The four gods are Byakko, Genbu, Suzaku, and Seiryuu."

Chuin jumped at hearing the last two names of the gods.  _Seiryuu... that's the temple I was at.. and Suzaku... he was talking about the Suzaku no miko..._

Miz Zacharie paused to take two coffee cups from the cupboard, placed one in front of Chuin.  "The story that's in here now is about Suzaku and Seiryuu.  Each god has seven seishi... or celestial warriors.  These seven warriors are sent to protect the one who comes into the book.  She will summon the god, and her wishes will come true.  The seven seishi of Suzaku are Hotohori, Nuriko, Tamahome, Tasuki, Chichiri, Mitsukake, and Chiriko.  The seven seishi of Seiryuu are Nakago, Soi, Amiboshi, Suboshi, Ashitare, Miboshi, and Tomo."

"Nakago?  Tomo?"  Chuin nearly leapt of his chair.

"You know about Tomo?"

"Sort of," he said, kneading his hands together.  "I keep having these dreams.  In it, I'm a man named Tomo, and Nakago is there."

Miz Zacharie looked thoughtful, then turned and took the kettle off the stove.  She poured them both tea in silence, before sitting back down.  "Those aren't dreams, Chuin," she told him.  "They're memories."

Chuin look a huge gulp of tea.  "Memories?"

She nodded.  "You are the reincarnation of Tomo, Seiryuu shichseishi."

There was silence in the small kitchen as Miz Zacharie drank her tea.  Chuin was too shocked to speak, but finally, in a small voice, he asked.  "Is Ayuru the reincarnation of Nakago?"

The old woman said nothing for a long while.  She sighed then.  "Ayuru's reincarnation is... difficult.  When Nakago was killed in the book, Seiryuu completely divided the two.  Ayuru was once a gentle soul.  But he was of the Hin Tribe, a race of people with fair skin, eyes, and hair.  They were hated in Kutou, the country they lived.  The emperor of Kutou ordered the entire eradication of them.  When that happened, Ayuru's power as Nakago awoke.  He was spared because he was shichseishi... spared from death, at least.  The emperor had always taken a liking to young boys, and Ayuru was no different.  It warped and twisted him until all he could think of was revenge.  Revenge against the emperor, revenge against the world, and revenge against Seiryuu."

 "Whoa, whoa... wait a minute," Chuin cut in, holding up a hand.  "How in the world do you know all this?"

Miz Zacharie smiled.  "I was there, Chuin."

"How is that possible?"

"I am the Creator, the one the 4 gods answered to.  My name is Taiitsukun."

Miz Zacharie went on to tell Chuin about his life as Tomo, filling in the gaps that the dreams had left out.  She explained everything that had happened after he died, and Nakago's ultimate failure.

"He wanted to become a god..." Chuin whispered.  "That was his revenge.  Become a god, and he could destroy all that had given him pain."

Miz Zacharie nodded.  "Nakago came back with the same purpose."

Chuin looked at the ancient book that lay open on the table.  "He needs the book.  The book is the only thing that has the summoning ceremony in it."

"He needs more than that.  Nakago must have the other seishi AND the miko for it to work.  Beyond that... it's still her call as to what wishes she asks for."

The young man dropped his head in his hands.  "It's a hopeless quest... why does he still want it?"

"Because revenge is all he's known, all he's ever cared about.  That's why Seiryuu separated them.  He wanted Ayuru to live a normal life, unplagued by the memories of Nakago.  Nakago was too strong, though, and found his way out anyway, still with the notion that he must have revenge.  He's spent two years searching for the book, and here it was sent right to Ayuru's boyfriend, and fellow seishi."  Miz Zacharie shook her head.  "Funny how the world works."

"What do I do?"

She looked at Chuin.  He looked so hopeful, so ready to do whatever he could to save his beloved.  _Tomo was the same way,_ she thought.  "Somehow, Ayuru must become stronger than Nakago and the two personalities must become one.  Only then will the personality of Ayuru overshadow that of Nakago."

"But what do I do?" he asked again.

Miz Zacharie took a deep breath, let it out through her teeth.  "I don't know," she admitted.  "There's no doubt in my mind that Nakago is at his full strength right now, so Ayuru is probably going to be extremely difficult to reach."

"Dammit," Chuin mumbled, hanging his head.  When he looked back up at Miz Zacharie, a few tears had glistened down his pale cheeks.  "Then it's up to me to figure out what to do.  It's my turn to be the one to make the decision, and save Ayuru."

The Creator nearly gasped at the sheer determination set in Chuin's amber eyes.  _I wish you the best of luck, child,_ she thought.  "Do not be afraid to ask Seiryuu for help, Tomo," she said, using his seishi name for the first time.  "He will be there for you, when you need him."

Chuin stood, picked up the book.  He nodded to Miz Zacharie.  "Thank you, Taiitsukun," he said, offering her a quick bow.  "It's up to me now... I know that."  He offered a small smile, then turned and left the house, seeming more grown up than when he had arrived.

_Seiryuu, my son,_ Miz Zacharie prayed.  _Be with your chosen, Tomoboshi, in this dire time.  Help him save another of your children, and at last heal their pain._


End file.
